There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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