ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My liver just had a heart attack.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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