i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
