my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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