I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
