i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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