I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
