I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
