Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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