Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
