Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
