she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
