hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
