Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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