Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
