Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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