I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
