Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
