So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
