I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
