Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
