Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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