I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
