Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
