I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
