i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
