dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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