am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
