she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
