i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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