i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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