Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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