Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
