What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
