I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
