Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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