textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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