I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
