It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
