I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
