I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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