So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
