i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize