I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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