Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i've created a new STD.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
