I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
