How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
