don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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