I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
