My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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