you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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