You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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