they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
